It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world

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Here’s what you’re about to learn this week: California businesses? Mostly tiny. Bosses? Mostly dudes. Denmark wants to buy the state, Yosemite’s about to be overrun, and schools are somehow spending more while students learn less. Oh, and a Chipotle-adjacent mound of dirt briefly became a sacred pilgrimage site. Just another totally normal week in the Golden State. Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day.

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Let’s get to it…

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EYE-POPPING STATISTICS IN NEW PPIC REPORT

You might think that California — home to corporate behemoths like Apple, Wells Fargo, Gap and Disney — is built on the back of big business. Except that’s not entirely accurate. While businesses employing 500 or more workers account for 38% of private sector jobs, they still only make up 0.1% of all of the state’s businesses. In fact, more than 90% of California’s companies employ fewer than 20 employees. These and other key statistics about California’s business community jump off the page in a new fact sheet released by our friends at the Public Policy Institute of California. One big takeaway? This chart:

<DIG INTO THE STATS>

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🤫 Everything you should know

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💸 🎓 💸  -  READING BETWEEN THE DECLINES — California schools are spending more and achieving less. Since 2013, per-pupil spending has skyrocketed 102%, nearly triple inflation, yet math scores have dropped, and reading remains stagnant. The pandemic put these trends on steroids — students are now 31% behind grade equivalent in math and 40% behind in reading from 2019 levels. It’s a bleak picture, but not without bright spots, as pointed out by CalMatters’ Dan Walters. “Compton Unified School District’s achievements are truly inspiring,” Los Angeles County Superintendent of Schools Debra Duardo told EdScource. “Their impressive graduation rate, coupled with significant academic growth and a strong focus on college and career readiness … demonstrate a deep commitment to student success.”  CalMatters

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🏕️  🏞️ 😬 - PARKS AND WRECK — Yosemite is staring down a summer of utter chaos, thanks to President Trump’s federal hiring freeze, which torpedoed seasonal staffing and leaves the park limping into peak season. Rangers? Axed. Emergency responders? Cut. Reservation system? Probably dead. Meanwhile, 20,000 daily visitors will be left to their own devices — littering, traffic-jamming, and possibly teaching bears all manner of bad dietary habits. Experts who know the park well are calling the situation “catastrophic” and “honestly terrifying.” SF Gate

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🇩🇰 🏄‍♂️ ☀️  - DANES TO TRUMP: LEGO OF CALIFORNIA  — In a cheeky clapback to President Trump’s Greenland obsession, Danish citizens launched a petition to buy California, citing sunshine, tech dominance, and unlimited avocado toast. Nearly 200,000 Danes have already signed onto the petition, which would require every citizen to cough up $28,000 USD toward the effort’s $1 trillion goal. The deal would ostensibly be negotiated by LEGO execs and the Borgen cast, and sweetened with a lifetime supply of Danish pastries. Contributors to the effort are promised a range of perks based on their commitment level, from a virtual tour of the new Danishwood studios ($14.06) to your name on a street sign in New Denmark ($1,406.50) KTLA

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⛰️ 🌯 🧗 - SCALING MOUNT CHIPOTLE

In Oakhurst, a humble pile of dirt adjacent to the local Chipotle became a legend. During its glorious reign, Mount Chipotle was climbed, memorialized, merchandised, and even featured on Good Morning America. Locals threw concerts, planted flags, and one person scattered their brother’s ashes atop its 20-foot peak. Then, like all great empires, it fell — bulldozed back into a parking lot. Now christened “Chipotle Flats,” the town wonders: What ridiculous, beautiful thing should we rally around next? KVPR

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🎧 🔊 🎧 ON THE POD: THEN THERE’S CALIFORNIA

Did you know that California’s State Senate Democratic Caucus has a podcast? They do! And if you’ve ever woken up with a hankering to hear your state senator hold forth on their legislative priorities, the pressures of the job, and what they’ve learned in office, you’re in luck. Then There’s California

🔍 🎨 🕵️  - FOUND ART

Bakersfield writer Kaleb Horton has a knack for capturing special corners of the state with his camera. We were particularly struck by his shot of this charming Inyo County post office, dwarfed by the southern Sierras in the background. Check out his work on Bluesky.

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